Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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