I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
