areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
