all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
