Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
