so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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