i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
