none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
