Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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