he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
