Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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