i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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