they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
