hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize