I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
