we have officially lost it.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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