oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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