just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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