After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
