I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
