May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
