i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
