you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
