You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Moan for me like Helen Keller
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
