Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We don't watch enough power rangers
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
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