Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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