I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
