are you still at the devil's house?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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