Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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