I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I believe in your delicious
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
