High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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