I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
