Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You're a waste of cheezeits
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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