You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
