Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The air was thick with penises
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
