Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
