She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
