Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize