Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
