I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
