We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
