i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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