Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
