if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
and you fell through a lawn chair
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize