i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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