he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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