have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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