Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
