I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
