I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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