her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
