Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
