i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
