I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
