Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
50% drunk capacity currently
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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