Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
