I smell stomach acid.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
