Christians are straight up FREAKS
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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