how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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