the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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