this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
